Baru je abis my assignment and sebab dah penat sgt berdepan dgn english academic writing which can be damn straining, I decided to break all rules here in my blog. YEAAHHH!!!

Im gonna use a mixture of both english n malay, writing in shortforms and not to bother about misspellings and such.

2 days ago, i was very very angry! tak taulah samada problem kat diri aku or them but my, i never knew teaching can be so menguji kesabaran. students can be so rude and disrespectful and im talking about teaching one student at a time in a tuition setting! apa lagi guru2 yg ajar satu kelas.

hari tu aku mengajar tuition 4 tempat, satu pagi & 3 sblh ptg.

pagi: bdk ni dah tau nak dekat exam, jadi aku kata nari kita concentrate hafalan. i made notes for her to simplify her hafalan. ada part, aku npk dia still susah nak hafal. so i went to the extent of doing the hafalan WITH her. bila suruh ulang, still dia tak ingat, masih merangkak2. i told her i need her to write so she can remember better. agaknye dia pon frust, dia mula hentak2 buku showing tantrums! hey, aku suruh hafal pon pljrn dia jgk kan? dia jgk yg nak xm kan..knp mesti marah2...

but i maintain my cool n wen i saw that dia tknk mengalah, aku terus pulaukan dia n stop acting friendly. lantaklah...

ptg: hujan lebat ptg tu. aku dr rumah basah kuyup gi dorset rd (near mustapha ctr.) after that, still kebasahan i went to pertapis girls home. bdk ni bila aku smp je dia tny: "alamak kaaak, knp dtg? nari kitorg nakgi concert~" "kan akak mmg dtg friday..." "alaah, saya ingat akak tak dtg sbb akak lmbt" "akak lmbt sbb ujan.." "alah kaak, saya nkgi concert.." "abeh, takkan akak nak balik. dah jauh2 akak dtg ni..." "alah kak..takpelahh....baliklaah"

mak aiii...menyirap darah, tp control lagi. but i was still firm on staying. last2 dia mengalah. amik buku n duduk utk blaja.

"marah akak ke sbb tak dpt gi concert?"

"a'ahlah...akak lah ni..." (she action2 merajuklah tu..)

"alah, kan blaja lagi important.."

"haa..yelah, blaja blaja...nah, ajarlah...jom kita blaja" (n dia aju2kan buku kat aku mcm menyindir2)

ape sey....my fault ar?!

"abeh salahkan akak ke ni? i wont teach if u r giving me this attitude. let's wait for u to calm down." (n i waited in silence)

"akak nak ajar tak ni?? saya dah nak blaja ni...akak yg tknk ajar kaan??"

"akak tkkan ajar selagi u tak tenang. tk guna akak ajar klw masuk telinga kanan, kuar tlinge kiri"

"eh akak ingatkan akak ajar free eh?? bapak saya bayar tau! akak klw tak ajar saya bilang bpk tau."

dlm hati aku, mcmlah bpk kau bayar bnyk sgt. harga nak compromise adalah. konon! duit transport aku pon tak lepas!

"same je kan, klw akak ajar pon tak absorb, lebih baik tk ajar."

"eh kan saya dah nak blaja ni, ajar jelah! knp irritating sgt ni??"

THAT was the final straw!

i cant take this verbal rudeness. it hit me so hard that i was both sad n angry at the same time. tp yg merepek nye, aku nangis~

haiz...i have weakness in controlling my tear glands.

and lagi memburukkan keadaan, aku terus meluru keluar dr pertapis n tinggalkan bdk tu. sume org npk aku nangis. merepek kan??!

aku ingat masa tu dat's the best thing to do. aku takle tahan lagi.

once keluar je dr pertapis, aku call Eid.

yg buat stress lagi, eid boleh kata ni, knp aku keluar? dat's not a wise thing to do.

WHAT?!!

aku nak dia support tp dia makin api-apikan kemarahan aku pulak!

but i manage to keep calm n hear his reasons.

dia kate, mcmana nak jadi counsellor ni klw cpt nak melenting. baru kena sikit. kan dia budak2, fikiran tak matang lagi. knp kena tunduk dgn dia. wen i cried, it goes to show that she'd won the battle. i only make it worse by running away.

spttnya aku ajar je dia. buat bodoh je dgn perangai dia. give her the cold treatment aje. klw kita ikut bertekak, kita pon sama jgk mcm dia. immature.

NOW i felt so stupid.

Eid sempat joke, tny aku samada kat tmpt blaja aku ada kosong tak sbb dia nk blaja counselling. very funny.

well, i guess it doesnt take a counsellor to figure those common senses. aku react ikut emosi. pdhal aku baru jgk baca satu buku ni n it talks about avoiding to be 'emotionally reactive'. this will help us to deal with problems better.

haizz....

mlm: nsbaik bdk ni tak buat hal...i find teaching his 10-yr-old girl refreshing. why? coz she asked a lot of questions. very inquisitive. and mind you, the questions she asked challenging beb!

• why am i born after my mother? why cant i be born first, and be HER mother?
• why do allah make org kafir?
• if allah creates us, then who created allah?
• why did allah wants nabi muhammad to be his messenger and not anyone else?
• who is the first human?

and the list goes on and on...

wow..sllnye susah nak dpt budak minat pljrn Aqidah/Tauhid (Islamic Theology) ni. most mdrsh students found the subject not interesting and hard to grasp. mmglah sbb byk benda yg susah nak diterima aqal.

oklah, aku pon dah penat...wanna sleep...zZzzZZZZZZzzzzz~

~to cross the line might be the way across~